We need a word to describe a feeling when you want something, but not really. Or you want it, but you don't want to live with it having been done even more. 

The feeling of a woman loving her man too much and wanting him to strike her, the feeling of a man seeing an inept little kitten and wanting to yeet it off a wide bridge into a river, the feeling of looking over a lofty precipice and wanting to topple over and embrace the fall.

(Apparently, there is something, called "velleity," "a mere wish, unaccompanied by an effort to obtain it." Thank you, AI.)

Some people say English is so wonderful not because it has many overall words, but because it has many everyday words.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVT2btZjYlM

And it well may be true, but I still see the gaps all the time, and wish to fill them fervently.

There is some magic in naming things. It's like when the thing gets *really* born. It's like having a superpower to see ghosts.