This was my dream on the morning of December 3, 2024.

In my dream, I was exterminating livestock together with some other woman. Presumably, we used our bare hands for the job. It was now the turn of a big pig. But I couldn’t force myself to hurt the animal. I pulled a gun for the job.

With my right hand, I tried to aim the gun carefully behind the pig’s head. With my left hand, I rubbed its belly, calming it down and cheering it up. The woman was seemingly more experienced. She showed me how to hold the gun, how to hold the head of the animal, and where to shoot for the best result.

The pig turned into a little girl of three or four years old. In my dream, this was nothing worthy of a surprise or even a notice.

As I was curling the girl’s head closer to her body, as instructed, she had a glimpse of understanding of what was happening. She became visually anxious and started to call to her friend. It was not a scream for help though. She eagerly wanted to see them soon but displayed no resistance. It was as if she wanted to tell them something important. Her last words.

What could she possibly have important to say? Whatever she may have felt was important would have been in reality insignificant. It was best to end her mental suffering immediately. It took me only a second to recognize true intentions, weigh the options, and even linger from the lack of determination. But it was a very long and painful second. I finally pulled the trigger.

Her blood started to seep through her neck. I didn’t want her blood to get unclean from the contact with the surface where she was lying. I took her gently into my arms and moved her elsewhere.

I then recalled the reasoning behind today’s actions. I had seen it. It was crystal clear. With this certainty, a farmer harvests his crops. He does not stop to ponder, “Must I not harvest? Does the wheat or the carrots or the cotton plants want to live and enjoy the sunshine?” My cold calculating mind saw everywhere and considered everything and left no room for the slightest hesitation. And yet, and yet…

It felt so bad. I wondered what I could do to best commemorate the girl, to express warmth, tenderness, and most earnest appreciation for the years she lived. The only right answer came naturally: I am obliged to cook her well and consume her fully.

I loathed the human world! The world where you were compelled — even by law! — to suppress your feelings for the deceased loved ones and surrender their bodies to the cold and filthy ground drenched with the stink of the detestable rotting strangers cramped there all around. Where the rains will flood their final resting chambers, where the worms will gnaw their molding faces.

My eyes were filled with tears. I went outside. In the clear winter sky, I was greeted by the awe-inducing Sun. It was pure white, with a flaming red outline. It shone so bright that the horizon in proximity appeared pitch-black. But there was more. It was accompanied by the smaller suns — a phenomenon people call “sun dogs.” And there was more: those suns had their own sun-companions. There were around nine shining orbs in the sky. It felt so unreal yet not entirely impossible, like a double or triple rainbow. This breathtaking sight made me very excited. I called to my mother to come and witness the miracle. Though very soon I started to realize that the smaller suns were in reality nothing more than the light from the street lamps in the distance.